when a relationship ends, no matter how it short it had been, it hurts. it hurts even more when it ends and no one tells you that it has.
for all of those who avoid confrontations and who prefer generally, not to talk. for all of those who hope the other person would 'get the message' and those who dont have the courtesy to sit down and tell the other person that its over: fuck you (you selfish coward).
because when it ends, and you dont know that it has, its like coming home to find out that the person you were living with has packed up and left without a fight, reason or explaination... without saying goodbye.
your left wondering which is the worst. because you dont know what-is-what or where you stand or whats going on because you cant 'talk' about it. all of the subtle indicators tell you that logically, there is nothing left of the 'relationship' because the other person isn't there. but at the end of it all, nothing has been 'stated' and you are left to 'wonder'.
i'm also left to wonder: am i really the only one who feels something? why? i'm not supposed to. its not fair that i be the only one.
and i'm referring to any feeling, whether it be pain, anger or affection and so on. why am i the only one who feels?
"your love is so cold, its always me who's reaching out for your hand" -k.c.
this realisation comes to me at different points in my life, but it never ceases to knock the air out of me and put me in somewhat of a shock: i am really and truly alone. in the pain that i feel because it is mine and i have to go through it on my own.
hate does not kill a person, indifference does. and it's probably his indifference that will make it near impossible for me to forgive him and make my peace...
7 comments:
"And so, nobody lives forever,
The crassest of cliches
Like time, time is the greatest healer
But it’s a murderer today
Like everyone else will do I’m gonna lie to you
Tell you that life is cruel but some day you’re gonna wake up
With sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes" - Words: J. Currie
Hope you're okay..
Mads! I hope u r doing well. I tell u "mankind" sucks. Hop on to the other side. :) see ya at the office....soon.
*sigh* you're right about the indifference vs. hate part
hope you're doing ok
*Hugs* Come back to this post in a couple of months and you'll notice the difference in your feelings.
Holler if you ever need to talk.
We can plan revenge. It's always fun. And great therapy.
over a mile: thank u thank u thank u :) those are beautiful. and yes, i do feel a hell lot better :)
anon: couldn't catch you at work. i'm hoping you're going to drop in again before u leave the country. love u!
mayya: that was a hard-learned lesson. and a very (than) surprising observation.
extiinct:the funny thing is, with time, you learn how to deal with 'these' things. its really a whole cycle. the important thing is to feel and keep on feeling till its over.
and it will be over. at some point at least. its not over when people try to escape what they're feeling. that only ends up with un-resolved issues.
and i only want to move forward. aaahh... i digress.
why do i feel like we'd be great friends (the kind i described in the post above this one) in real life?
:)
You're so right. Face the music and be done with it. What someone did cannot be undone, so the only thing to do is to move on and plan revenge as therapy and execute it if planning doesn't give the proper satisfaction. you can tell I like the revenge idea a lot. Lol!
The feeling is mutual =)
Now I'm gonna head over to your namesake blog and make up for my missing presence.
extiinct: :) i dont mind the planning part. maybe its about time i let people know that i'm capable of being very VERY pissed off :P
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