no, that's not me in the painting.i needed this blog to have a new look, a new 'something'. my last attempt at coming back here failed miserably in my opinion, since i ended up writing crap.
how much has changed since i last blogged? to be honest, i was happier when i was. it was therapeutic, like letting it all out. why did i stop? i don't know to be very honest. i do know that suddenly, i was aware that the blog was being read by people... i became a journalist and my work started getting published and suddenly, the blog wouldn't have been read by a "blogger vintage" but because it was the journalist's blog. my acquaintances started becoming better "known" individuals... i didn't want to start gossip. i didn't want this to be a tabloid blog. it wasn't fair.
life, as it has been for the past... five or so years... has been just as surprising, changing... as before. sometimes it's hard to believe that this is my life. not the journalist bit, that's grown on me and i love every bit of it... but everything else. have you ever made a wish, and have it come true but in a waayy more better way than you ever imagined it to? that is what's been happening to me. i'm very grateful, but it's kind of scary as well.
bayl is back from college and we've been meeting up with the friends she's left me with. i somehow feel like i'm back in college (though my time there didn't last that long) and it makes me feel "different". i dont know whether good or bad, but different. it's nice in a way, but i think i've forgotten how to interact with groups of people my age, i can relate and talk on an individual basis. mr supari strongly believes i need to interact with more people my age. that it's going to be good for me.
it's an interesting experience and fun so far. trying to convince bayl to go crabbing tomorrow, she hates it. biya (one of the friends bayl has left me with and who i've instantly connected with) is totally in for it, but unknown to bayl, we're playing "good cop/bad cop" with her. hehehe...
the mom and the enfant sister are going away to islamabad to attend a wedding. i'm excited because this may be my one chance to force myself to learn how to cook (i need to eat, right), have a girls-just-want-to-have-fun sleepover planned etc but i can't somehow... shrug off this feeling of unease... there have been bomb explosions in the city before... but never before have i actually felt 'unsafe'. the city is finally becoming a scary place to live in.
i just heard about what happened at the shanaakht festival. i was baffled for the first couple of hours and even now i don't understand why anyone would want to do such a thing? WHY?! this feels like a personal blow. the festival was/is very close to my heart and i am one of its patrons. it's a festival for the people forgodsakes!
this also brings the violence one hears about on telly scarily close to home. what are we doing? where is the human race going with all this? what the hell is going on?!
