there are days when i just feel like leaving him. (just came back from a somewhat pleasant press conference to newly-renovated office room which i am beginning to spruce up with little posters and stuff here and there. already like how it's coming out). there are moments when he... when he makes me feel like... there is a 'me' for him in every other city. and my pride (or ego, if you will) is just too big to be able to be 'one' of 'me-s'.the whole thing makes me want to pack my bags and... leave. and take with me all the nice little things i do for him. just go away damnit. and every time i decide i will, something or the other happens to make me stay. and then the 'moment'... the 'moment' itself which is the perfect 'moment' in which to leave just passes.
((( previewing a song in between as well. listened to it and now have it on play back. "Lambay" by sajid and zeeshan. love it already. it's interesting and has an eclectic mixture of different musical effects, rhythms and pushto lyrics coupled with heavy guitars )))
*trying to shake off an uncomfortable feeling that's creeping up my body right now. sit up straighter*
*holding myself together*
"please, go away"
i have to find it in me. i have to find the inner strength that will let me let go of him.
